Basic Self Mastery

Self-Mastery is more than just a skill or a habit. It is a way of living that allows you to tap into your true potential and create the life you want. By mastering the basics of your moods, perceptions and movements, you can:

• **Happiness** : Cultivate a positive mindset and attitude that helps you enjoy more moments and overcome more of your challenges. You can also develop a deeper sense of purpose and meaning that will better influence your decisions and actions. A simple yet effective way to begin this is to practice gratitude every day. Write down three things that you are grateful for, and maybe how they make you feel. This will help you better appreciate what you have and what you have accomplished, and can help to boost your mood and optimism.

• **Health** : Improve your physical and mental well-being by taking care of your body and mind. You can also reduce stress and anxiety by finding robust ways to manage your emotions and how you cope with difficult situations. A simple yet powerful way to help with this is to meditate for at least 10 minutes every day. Find a quiet and comfortable place, close your eyes, and simply focus on your breath. Count up to 10 breaths, and start counting to 10 again. How often do you lose count? Each time you lose count, just start from 1 again. No problem, no worry. There’s nowehere to go, nothing else to do for these 10 minutes. And you really do have 10 minutes every day to make time to meditate! This will help you calm your mind, increase your awareness, and relax your body.

• **Harmony** : Establish healthy and fulfilling relationships with yourself and others. You can also balance your personal and professional life by setting healthy boundaries and really knowing what is important and meaningful to you. A simple yet powerful way to do this is to express your appreciation and affection to someone every day. Send a text, call, or visit someone who matters to you, and tell them how much you value and love them. A few words is all it may need, and it may last longer than a cup of tea or coffee - or water, juice, smoothie…This will help you strengthen your sense of connection, communication, and compassion.

• **Growth** : Learn new things and acquire new skills that enhance your knowledge and abilities. You can also pursue your passions and interests that enrich your life and express your creativity. A simple yet challenging way to do this is to learn something new every day. Read a book, listen to a podcast, watch a video, or begin a course of learning about something that interests you or that you want to improve. These activities help you expand your perspective, discover new opportunities, and challenge yourself.

Basic Self-Mastery is not something that is achieved overnight, or in a week-long retreat or online course. Self-Mastery is a path that requires commitment, discipline, practice, and a whole big old pile of self-love and compassion. Because some days it’s likely you’ll fall down, and it’s how you choose to move from that moment that really counts. And the rewards are so worth it! You get to create the best version of yourself and live the life you deserve.

Here are some tools that you might find useful to have with you on your quest:

• A journal and a pen: Writing down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences can help you reflect on your progress and challenges. It can also help you express your creativity and insights. It is worth getting a fresh notebook. Having a book is way more important than the ‘right’ book. You may find that one book, it’s true, but there’s a really big chance it’ll take a while to find it. So, an A5 Pukka-style notebook (other brands are available) is perfect, and a basic ballpoint pen is equally perfect. Write. A good way to engage with a journal on a daily basis, and worth including as a regular morning practice, is to write your three gratitudes and the ‘thing on my mind’ you’re still hanging onto from yesterday.

• A daily planner: Planning your day can help you schedule and set priorities for your tasks and goals. It can also help you manage your time, focus and energy more effectively. I recommend including: a morning routine innvolving at least three simple, accessible and meanigful practices; time for a breakfast, bathing, dressing; knowing your tasks for the day; an evening (end of work-day) routine to reconnect with home; self- and/or partner-connection time; meditation; personal development/growth input; fun/play/dance/movement

• A meditation app: Meditating can help you calm your mind and increase your awareness. It can also help you develop mindfulness and concentration skills. The timer on your phone’s clock app is all you need. That, and an upright seated posture - a good posture really does help. There isn’t a right, best or only way to meditate. Let the thoughts come, because they surely will. The game is to let them pass on by, like watching leaves flow by on the surface of the river while you’re sat on the bank just seeing that. If you notice you’re watching one leaf only, acknowledge it and return to letting it pass on by, returning your awareness to the wider river. Sometimes you’ll get it, and sometimes you won’t. Both are fine. You can be aware of your breathing, and how you are sat, and where your hands are, and how they’re positioned - all of these have value, they do. You can be unaware of all these things and simply* witness the river, and any land and the sky beyond, as it were. Just witness. Just sit.

• A fitness tracker: Keeping track of your physical activity can help you improve your health and fitness. It can also help you monitor your heart rate, sleep quality, and calories burned. I use a step-counter app on my phone which keeps a rough track of my general activity - as long as my phone is actually on me. I’ve input some basic physical info (weight, height, general activity levels, etc) so that I actually get some meaningful feedback. Otherwise, what is the point in using the app?

• A book or a podcast: Reading or listening to something inspiring or educational can help you learn new things and expand your perspective. It can also help you discover new interests and passions. Personally, I use Spotify. There are other platforms available, including some posted to Youtube and such platforms. There are some amazing voices out there, and it’s really worth finding those that really speak to you. To me, the message is more important than the messenger!

• A bottle of water, and maybe a snack: Staying hydrated and nourished can help you maintain your physical and mental well-being. It can also help you avoid dehydration and over-hunger, which can affect your mood and performance. Suggestion: When you feel peckish/snacky, drink a decent glass of water and give it 5 minutes. Water is essential for many bodily functions, such as regulating temperature, transporting nutrients, and flushing out waste. Snacks can provide you with calories, protein, fibre, vitamins, and minerals that can boost your mood, concentration, and performance. And when we say snacks, we’re thinking along the more nutritionally varied and dense types, not so much a chocolate bar or packet of crisps level of foods that are available. Sometimes we use what we have to hand.

• A trusty friend or a coach: Having someone to support you, and to hold you accountable, can help you stay motivated and focused. It can also help you share your achievements and challenges, and receive feedback and suggestions. I would recommend engaging with some form of coach or outside point of contact. I say this mostly because they generally require a monetary investment, and are less likely to indulge your bull-poo. What I mean is, they’re more likely to keep you on-point than a close friend, and we tend to value more those things we pay for. That said, if you have a trusted friend, and if they are a good influence and are cool with calling you on your stories, and you can take it, do that! You might even insipre them to step up their game, too. And while you may be on different paths, you’ll be heading in that direction - You2.0 😉

These are just some of the tools that can help you on your journey. Of course, you don’t need to have them all at once, or ever. You can start with one or two and see how they work for you. The most important thing is to take action and commit to your journey. Otherwise, you might end up talking yourself out of it once more - and again tomorrow (I’ve been there, and sometimes still go there - Life moves in such waves for me) - and you will miss out on some of the immediate benefits to be had on a journey of self-mastery. So, what are you waiting for? Start your journey today and see how far you can go.

*Simple/simply does not necessarily mean easy.

On Gratitude…

One of the benefits of practicing gratitude every day is that it can improve our mental health. Gratitude can help us cope with stress, depression, and anxiety by increasing our positive emotions and enhancing our coping skills. It can also make us more confident and optimistic by focusing on our strengths and achievements rather than our flaws and failures.

Another benefit of practicing gratitude every day is that it can strengthen our relationships. Gratitude can make us more kind, generous, and compassionate to others by increasing our empathy and understanding. It can also improve our communication and connection with our loved ones by expressing our appreciation and affection.

A third benefit of practicing gratitude every day is that it can enhance our physical health. Gratitude can boost our immune system and lower our blood pressure by reducing inflammation and cortisol levels. It can also improve our sleep quality and duration by promoting relaxation and positive thoughts before bed.

Gratitude is a powerful and simple practice that can transform our lives for the better. All it takes is a few minutes each day to reflect on what we are grateful for and how we can show it.

Is it better to do this practice in the morning or at the end of the day? Yes.

On Goals…

Once you have set your goals, it is important to break them down into smaller, more manageable steps. This will prevent overwhelming feelings of failure or frustration, and allow you to celebrate small victories along the way.

Additionally, it can be helpful to create a timeline for achieving your goals, whether it be short-term or long-term. A timeline will provide structure and accountability, and ensure that you are making progress towards your desired outcome.

Remember, self-mastery is a life journey, and it requires patience, perseverance, and consistent effort. By setting clear goals and taking actionable steps towards them, you can develop the self-discipline and resilience necessary to achieve success in all areas of your life.

On Self- Awareness…

Self-awareness is a crucial skill that can help you in various areas of your life, including personal relationships, career, and overall well-being. When you are self-aware, you are more in tune with your own needs and desires, and you can make better decisions that align with your goals and values.

To practice self-awareness, start by paying attention to your thoughts and feelings throughout the day. Take note of what triggers certain emotions or behaviors, and try to understand why you react in a particular way. You can also journal your thoughts and feelings to gain a deeper understanding of yourself.

Another way to practice self-awareness is to seek feedback from others. Ask trusted friends or colleagues for their honest opinions about your strengths and weaknesses, and use their feedback to identify areas for improvement.

Remember that self-awareness is a journey, and it takes time and effort to develop. But with practice, you can become more self-aware and lead a more fulfilling life.

On Self-Discipline

One way to develop self-discipline is to establish a routine. Create a schedule that includes time for work, exercise, and relaxation. Stick to this schedule as much as possible, even on weekends or days off.

Another way to cultivate self-discipline is to set small goals and work towards them consistently. Celebrate each accomplishment, no matter how small, to build momentum and confidence.

Finally, practice mindfulness and meditation to increase your awareness of your thoughts and emotions, and learn to respond to them with intention rather than impulsivity. With time and effort, you can develop strong self-discipline that will serve you well in all aspects of your life.

On Positive Habits

Developing positive habits is crucial to living a fulfilling life. It is important to remember that habits take time to form and require consistent effort. Whether it's waking up early, eating healthy, or meditating, these habits can have a profound impact on your physical and mental health.

By incorporating positive habits into your daily routine, you are taking a step towards a happier and more productive lifestyle. It's never too late to start cultivating positive habits, so take the first step today and start making positive changes in your life.

On Commitment

It's important to maintain a positive attitude and believe in yourself, even when things get tough. Surround yourself with supportive people who encourage and motivate you to keep going. Seek out resources and guidance when you need it, and don't be afraid to ask for help.

Remember, you are capable of achieving great things if you stay committed to your journey of self-mastery. Keep pushing forward, and you will see the results of your hard work and dedication.

A few apps that I use, that are both available for free (you can pay for improved access) and meaningfully useful are:

- Spotify: a music and podcast streaming service that lets you listen to millions of songs and podcasts from various genres, artists, and topics. You can also create and share your own playlists, discover new music, and enjoy personalized recommendations.

- Insight Timer: a meditation and wellness app that offers thousands of guided meditations, music tracks, courses, and talks on topics such as stress, sleep, happiness, and mindfulness. You can also join live events, track your progress, and connect with a community of millions of meditators.

- Strava: a fitness and social app that tracks your running, cycling, and other activities using GPS. You can also join challenges, compete with friends, share your photos and stories, and discover new routes and events.

- Duolingo: a language learning app that teaches you over 30 languages through fun and interactive lessons. You can also practice your skills with stories, podcasts, and games, earn rewards and badges, and join a global community of learners.

One final note. If you made it to this point in the page, I mean you didn’t just skim through it and think, “Ugh! that looks like too many words…”, then thank you for taking the time. I hope you have found some things that you can take from it and learn to play with in your daily life.

Disclaimer: The information and tips shared on this page are based on our personal experiences, and what we have found to be useful and meaningful. They are not intended to replace or override the guidance of qualified and expert medical and/or psychotherapeutic professionals. If you have any concerns or doubts about your physical or mental health, please seek the advice of a licensed and competent practitioner. We care about your well-being and happiness, but we are not experts in these fields. Thank you for your understanding. 😊